What’s Going On in Ms Land with Dad’s Visit?
Grandpa & Whoopi are fast friends!
What’s going on in MS land these days? Well, what had happened was, my father came into town. And for almost 2 weeks, I did not record a single lesson in MS Mastery™. Welp! Prior to that, I was doing great on knocking out one module each week, and I was halfway done.
Take a seat. I promise you a happy ending to this share.
I felt alive however. I hadn’t seen Dad in 5 years, thanks to Covid, and expired visas and new rules for obtaining US visas and mega delays in the process and all of that. And I hadn’t seen him since Mom passed 2 years ago. 😢
The trip was long overdue.
What’s Going On in MS Land with Fear and Doubt?
But I was petrified of how I would handle the visit. Catering to him. Especially feeding him, since I’m on such a specialized diet (Wahls Paleo Plus).
And there’s the issue of bandwidth… Because. MS.
In fact, I worried so much that I almost made myself sick. But once I started to feel symptoms, I knew I had to course correct and fix my attitude. Only 2 things make me feel bad these days: Physical exertion or negative thoughts. I’m teaching you how to get here in MS Mastery™ by the way, and so much more as I continue to heal too. (Shameless plug!)
What’s Going On in MS Land with Marrying All the Nutrition Needs?
I decided to trust that God and the universe will teach me how to cater to him, since hubby and I had decided we would not cater out his foods due to all the cutting corners in the food services industry since lock down. My dad made a somewhat recent shift to the blood type diet and his health and numbers have never been better. His discipline in the absence of Mom has been just so admirable. Naturally, we want to support him maximally.
We decided we would also feed him organic non-gmo foods, and high quality proteins like we eat, except for our (minus me!) Nigerian foods that are not certified organic.
And do you know what happened? We started to figure it out. I don’t cook for my husband usually, He makes his own food and doesn’t put pressure on me in the kitchen. So, I hadn’t made Nigerian stew in years, and really hadn’t been eating Nigerian food because they’re hard to come by, if not impossible, as certified organic. But I figured out how to use all organic produce to make chicken stew without the habanero or any of the conventional peppers that we normally use, which is where we get the spicy pepper kick. But we can’t ever find those peppers organic.
What I did was to use a combo of red bell peppers with crushed red peppers, both organic. And it worked. Yay! I’ll spare you the details of all the dishes that I’ve made for him. how I’ve married our foods for ease of preparation, and how I get around things I can’t taste but need to make for him. 🤣
What’s Going On in MS Land concerning Asking For and Receiving Help?
17th wedding anniversary IG post! 3/29
Then I was so blessed to have hubby help out whenever I needed him to. I actually asked for help. Hubby is amazing, but that bad habit of not asking for help is a hard one to break completely free from.
Luckily for me, I’m partnered with a man who pays attention and notices things. He first noticed my one zit pop up next to my lip. Then it was my back brace that had started to make an appearance here and there (though that wasn’t so unusual), then my wrist brace. I think the wrist brace did it for him because it hasn’t come out in years. He basically marched into the kitchen and informed me that I was doing too much and he needed to do more. Then he listed what things he was taking on. Why? Because I was so exhausted by the end of the day he said, and it’s just week one, so we need a better plan.
What a blessing, in this world where close to half of marriages impacted by MS don’t make it. This from a man who has always done a lot and continues to do so. I did not really want to ask him to do as much because I was also concerned for him and his demanding job.
This extra help however enabled me to lean into Dad’s presence, his company, his emotional support. And it’s simply been amazing.
What’s Going On in MS Land with the Research on Asking For Help & Receiving Help?
Research paper…
So, what’s going on in MS land with research concerning help? Did you know that the ability to lean into family support impacts our MS course? Specifically, our ability to ask for and receive help. In fact, not asking for help from those around us is as bad as not having a support system at all on this MS journey.
How do I know this? Research supports it. And one of the traits that leads to MS is feeling like you can go it alone in life.
In this publication titled Relationship between Psychosocial Factors and Onset of Multiple Sclerosis, while doing a comparison of psychosocial factors between people with MS and healthy controls, there were significant differences in subjective support, and utilization of social support between the two groups.
So toxic and I hate to admit it but for a long time, so me. I didn’t want to “bother” people. That happens to be a trauma response by the way that stems from not feeling safe for whatever reason.
It was just a story in my head and this research proves that our perception is different, which of course leads to not utilizing the support.
All this is to say, lean into your support system.
What’s Going On in MS Land with Emotional Support?
The emotional boost of having Dad under our roof has been so good for me, the same way I feel when my brother is in town.
I’ve gotten to a point in my MS and life journey where if I’m not feeling great, I seek out human connection. I find my husband in the house and go spend time with him. He centers me. He truly is my peace and with all that my health issues have thrown at us, it is a blessing. Sometimes I go hang out with my daughter or Whoopi the dog, or both. They work too. 😃
So, if you’re one of those I can go it alone people, stop it. Rethink your stance because it does not serve you at all, and certainly not your MS course.
Let’s talk MS Mastery™!!!
As for me, I will soak in all the family love I can get, while I continue to work on MS Mastery™ at whatever pace I can muster. The real happy ending to this story is this. I have figured out how to still continue to record the rest of the course, so that I can get it to you.
In fact, I intend to send out detailed information on how to get into all the goodies I’ve been cooking up within the next few weeks. I have recorded 7 out of 13 weeks already, and about two-thirds of the slides.
And I’m so excited for all of the information that you’ll be able to glean for your MS journey.
In the meantime,
Happy MS Awareness Month!!! 🎉
And even though I wanted MS Mastery™ to be ready during our special month, here’s my gift to you. It’s how hard I’m working to get this program to you in the next few weeks.
Toodles!
Dr. Folake.
DISCLAIMER!!!
Lastly, check with your doctor before implementing anything new. I am NOT your doctor, though I am a doctor.
This is purely educational, not giving you medical advice, and it is certainly not tailored specifically to you because I don’t have enough information on you to do that.
PS: Get on the waitlist for MS Mastery™ here if you haven’t already. What are you waiting on?
I love these reminders that we do not need to do this alone and its scientifically proven that having a support system is a game changer.
Yes. A very important often overlooked part of life for us. Glad it meant something to you. 😃